Self Preservation

As I type these words, I'm snacking on a bit o' Papa John's goodness, I'm anticipating the Jennifer Aniston flick I'm about to pop in the DVD player, and I'm contemplating whether or not to go for the Diet Coke I want or the bottle of water that I seriously need and should be drinking instead.

During the last year and a half since my husband has been in Iraq, I've done a lot of soul searching. I've found myself. If someone told me two years ago that I'd be spending every single night alone (Well, except for the company of my little guy, of course.), I'd say 'Nope. I think I would go insane for fear of intruders in the middle of the night.' Lol. Seriously.

Glad I got over that.

(I don't even sleep with the police-grade baton anymore.)
Aren't you proud?
On occasion, I've even fallen asleep without the pepper spray too.
Seriously.
I. Was. That. Freaked. Out.
I'm strong though.
I'm independent.
Very.
I'm going to preserve a bit of myself on this little happy blog tonight.
I might even print it out.
Stick it in my little memory box.
Maybe I'll read it again in (God willing) fifty years or so.

Here goes:
I'm a list maker.
I try to be organized.
I suffer from what I've learned is labeled as "Perfectionist Procrastination".
I don't want to start something unless I can execute it perfectly.
According to my list, that is.
I've purchased a book about organization.
Reading it is on my To-Do list.
This is really me.
Not one of those I like scrapbooking and the color pink lists.
The real me.
Shamefuly honest and unedited.
I'm brainstorming about a new business.
Okay, when haven't I been doing that?
I'm always coming up with hair-brained business ideas.
(I think I get that from my Dad, by the way.)
Those close to me can attest to that.
I seriously should write a book on home business ideas.
Add that to my list of home business ideas. Lol.
I analyze.
All the time.
About everything.
The wheels never stop turning.
I read into things too much.
It gets me into trouble at times, but I can't help it.
It's how I think.
I'd be content eating Lean Cuisine glazed chicken and rice for the rest of my life.
It tastes good.
With no effort.
I could not live without my microwave.
My sister cooks elaborate meals.
I just am not like that.
It drains me.
I'd rather be doing creative things.
I suppose cooking can be creative.
Maybe I'll get into it one day.
I think I will.
I do enjoy cooking desserts though.
That, I get from my Mom.
I enjoy having a system.
A process for doing things I do on a regular basis.
For example, I put my makeup on in the exact same order every day.
Does anyone else do that?
Is it a girl thing or just a Delaney thing?
Who the heck knows.
I enjoy developing my son's mind.
We read all the time.
He really amazes me sometimes.
His memory is better than mine.
I think I have a photographic memory.
I have a humorous, sarcastic outlook during really crappy situations.
I've found this helps me stay sane.
I'd rather laugh than cry, you know?
WOW. This is so random.
It has no flow.
This is totally not how I write.
I'm seriously considering deleting all of it and just going to watch my DVD.
Hmmmm.

Things I Love: (Besides the people in my life.)

• "The Way I See Its" on Starbucks cups.
• That I sometimes wake up at 3am wide awake. I feel like I have an advantage starting out the day early.
• The fact that things like kiwis, pineapple, and Mackintosh apples are actually good for the bod.
• The fact that I indulge in Coke Icees even though they aren't.
• The feeling of people loving me for me. Not for who I was. Or for who I could be.
• Checking off a task from my list.
• Finding a really cool color combination.
• The sense of urgency I feel in airports.
• Accomplishing something on my own when people tell me I should ask for help.
• The way my son shouts "Mama!!" when he first sees me at the door to his preschool classroom. Being needed is good. Needing can be good to, I have found.
• The fact that I was taught how to be a good mother by a good mother's example.
• The way my supplies smell from Signed Sealed & Delivered.
• My featherbed. Totally.
• There's more. Of course. I just want to hurry up and watch my movie.

Anyway... There's so much more to write. I just don't feel like I have the time right now to do it all justice though. I'll write more tomorrow. More self preservation. Take two.

Well, I suppose I didn't delete all of this. That's good. Off to grab a Diet Coke.

Yeah, I opted for that.

Carpe diem, you know?

I'm just a creative soul trying to preserve herself.

That's all.

Renewed

I feel renewed.

Excited about the ideas I have.

Ready to turn them into reality.

I have a plan.

Nothing too huge.

I'm all about family.

It's good for me though.

Wish me luck.

Thanks Kayla.

By the way, here is my super-simple Ebay auction banner that I created for the top of my auctions! Check out www.divinepapers.com to see my latest creations!

I'll be adding an album entitled "Pregnancy Memories" tonight!

Honoring Bravery...

My God.
This was just released to the public.
I have no words eloquent enough to do justice to the honor of this great hero.
Read the news story below for yourself.
Send prayers to his family.
It's the least we can do.
Please.

A Navy SEAL sacrificed his life to save his comrades by throwing himself on top of a grenade Iraqi insurgents tossed into their sniper hideout, fellow members of the elite force said.
Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael A. Monsoor had been near the only door to the rooftop structure Sept. 29 when the grenade hit him in the chest and bounced to the floor, said four SEALs who spoke to The Associated Press this week on condition of anonymity because their work requires their identities to remain secret.
"He never took his eye off the grenade, his only movement was down toward it," said a 28-year-old lieutenant who sustained shrapnel wounds to both legs that day. "He undoubtedly saved mine and the other SEALs' lives, and we owe him."
Monsoor, a 25-year-old gunner, was killed in the explosion in Ramadi, west of Baghdad.
In an interview at the SEALs' West Coast headquarters in Coronado, four members of the special force remembered "Mikey" as a loyal friend and a quiet, dedicated professional.
"He was just a fun-loving guy," said a 26-year-old petty officer 2nd class who went through the grueling 29-week SEAL training with Monsoor. "Always got something funny to say, always got a little mischievous look on his face."
Other SEALS described the Garden Grove, Calif., native as a modest and humble man who drew strength from his family and his faith. His father and brother are former Marines, said a 31-year-old petty officer 2nd class.
Prior to his death, Monsoor had already demonstrated courage under fire. He has been posthumously awarded the Silver Star for his actions May 9 in Ramadi, when he and another SEAL pulled a team member shot in the leg to safety while bullets pinged off the ground around them.
Monsoor's funeral was held Thursday at Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery in San Diego. He has also been submitted for an award for his actions the day he died.